No wonder they say: had difference with someone in the morning – the day is ruined. Conflicts affect our mood, concentration, and ability to work. It does not matter where the incident occurred; it leaves unpleasant emotions for a long time. How to get out of the conflict in a good mood and solve it with the maximum personal benefit? We know three important secrets. Here we go…
The Secret №1. An affirmative approach
Conflict is not a war, but a searching of the optimal solutions. Therefore, all participants in the conflict must understand that the pressure, high tones, sarcasm or even insults only exaggerate the colors, dramatize and turn the situation into a bazaar squabble. Civilized people must resolve conflicts constructively, defending their interests and accepting the interests of their opponents.
- Do not let your voice and your interlocutors voice rise.
- Do not put pressure on your opponents (and do not let this happen with you) with the benefits of experience, workforce position or connections.
All this lead to an aggravation of the situation and the personal attacks. Going this way you will not get even the minimum of the desired as well as your opponents.
Sometimes it happens that you are ready to use an affirmative approach for the conflict solving, but you opponents listen to just their emotions. What to do? Do not accept their rules of the game! Calmly explain it to the opponents, suggest them to solve everything when everyone is calm and ready for discussion. As a rule, it works. Through time, emotions subside, people are ready to talk and seek rational solutions.
The Secret №2. Analysis of the interests
Most often, conflicts arise when two sides begin to defend their interests actively. In this case, no one even thinks to consider the offer of the opponent. Do you think you do not need it? On the contrary! Understanding what your opponent wants, you can understand:
- How rational is other point of view;
- What the opposite’s proposition can lead to;
- Do you incur any inconvenience or loss complimented by this?
Ask the interlocutor to explain to you its choice and its interests. Realizing the main goal of the opponent, you can offer other solutions, which could be profitable, both of you. It also maybe be that after careful analysis you understand that there is a sense in the opponent’s beliefs and it is worth considering them. Weighing and assessing all the pros and cons, you both can choose the third option, which leads to a “draw” and will satisfy your interests and the interests of your opponent.
The Secret №3. Do not strive for a small victory! Strive for a big one!
Of course, it is always a pleasure to get out of the conflict as a winner. However, sometimes it happens that the solutions you proposed did not bring good results. What is the problem? You are so carried away by defending your point of view that you could not assess the situation without emotions and anticipate all possible risks. Now, when you have lost after the recent win, you will not get any support from your opponent, no further confidence. Moreover, your opponents have a clear understanding that it is a bad idea to agree your point of view.
How to avoid this? You have to look for a correct solution of the issue, but not a victory in the conflict! Listen to all the arguments of the participants of the dispute, and express your opinion. It is likely that together you will come to a common solution that will not only satisfy all participants, but will also provide a good result of the common cause.
Conflict is a clash of the interests. The outcome of this clash depends of how softly it will pass. Use three secrets and lead any conflicts only in a useful direction.